Breaking News from 2009!

President Hilliary Clinton issues strong warning to Muslim terrorists!
Washington, DC United Depress
The President surrounded by her cabinet in the underground bunker at the White House issued a terse statement to the terrorists responsible for the nuclear bombs that destroyed LA, New York City, Boston, Atlanta, Denver, Chicago and Plains, Ga.
The President who was obviously upset at the situation said she demanded an immediate United Nations investigation into the bombings. She warned the terrorists any further hostile action on their part would be met with the strongest rhetoric.
While she ruled out immediate military retaliation against the launch points of the missiles in Iran and Saudi Arabia she assured them that military action was certainly on the table if they did not stop firing the missiles. She defended her action is shutting down the defensive anti missal umbrella protecting the United States mainland last month saying that it was an essential move in the interest of world peace. She condemned Israel for their overreaction to the bombing of Tel Aviv. President Clinton bemoaned the loss of the Holy Cities of Mecca and Medina and fourteen other population centers in the Arab middle east. We shall certainly ask for UN economic sanctions against the reckless actions of the government of Israel in firing nuclear missiles into sovereign nations. She asked the United States citizenry to refrain from retaliation against the 78 Muslim Military Compounds scattered around the country. She went on to say that a small minority of the Muslims population was peaceful and it was impossible to separate them from the 94% who hate America.