Saudi royals purchase most of District of Columbia

Breaking News from 2009
In a secretive venture involving 427 real estate firms the Saudi Royal family has purchased most of the non government owned real estate in Washington. Prince Shitonu announced today that the Saudis would finance a new school system based on a method developed by Hammas. Renters will be able to live rent free as long as they are Muslim or switch to the Muslim faith. Crews were busy all over the district installing prayer towers and a city wide block by block speaker system for important religious or security announcements. Sources said that announcements will be limited to no more that 3 per hour. President Hillery Clinton issued a statement today welcoming "our good friends, the Saudis" and pledging to cooperate in every way with the new landlords. She went on to say "Gosh if they own it they won't blow it up...duh!" A related purchase included the Washington Post which will be renamed "Voice of Allah be praised Magniloquent Shining Light Newspaper" . The royals say that no editorial changes are foreseen as the paper has been a friendly ignorer of the Islam plan to take over the US for several years. Women reporters will be allowed to continue working as long as they cover their face and do not wiggle their ass when walking.

Fairness Doctrine Act of 2008 Passes

The Fairness Doctrine Act of 2008 passes both houses and is signed into law by President Bush. The President said that while he was elected as a Republican he had come to see the error of his ways and now considers himself a liberal and globalist.
He said the new law would put a Federal Editor at each radio station in the United States in much the same way as the Department of Agriculture has inspectors in house at meat plants around the country. The Federal Editors are appointed from a pool recommended by a joint committee of the ACLU and the NPR. The authors of the bill stressed that this is not censorship but much needed editorial help and guidance provided by the Federal Government experts.
The law specifically makes it a felony for a station or station personnel to broadcast unapproved copy. The first offence carries a mandatory 2 week stay in the newly established Fairness Rehabilitation Center at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. After rehabilitation the offending talk show host would be eligible for a refresher broadcast internship at CNN or MSNBC.
The success of the Fairness act on broadcasters has prompted Democratic lawmakers to construct a Blogger and Fax Machine Fairness Act for presentation to the House and Senate in 2009. Newspapers were exempted from all provisions of the Fairness Act as most reporters are respectable yellow dog Democrats and over seventy five percent of Publishers are card carrying ACLU members.

Breaking News from 2009

Math prohibited in High Schools
The National Education Association announced today the successful culmination of it drive to drop Math and math related subjects from high school curriculums nation wide.
A spokesperson for the NEA said "In an exhaustive 2 day study last year it was decided that low Math scores have a devastating effect on the attitude and well being of female students. In order to continue the women's right struggle it was decided to eliminate the requirement for Math studies from our schools.
Colleges and Universities may continue to offer gender based math courses that are not graded on merit.
After passage by the Senate and House President Edwards signed the bill with members of the National Organization of Women at his side. He hailed the passage as a defeat for the forces that hate equality.

Breaking News from 2012

Marriage declared illegal
In a close vote the Senate of the United States passed the "Marriage Annulment Act of 2012" today which prohibits future marriages and declares those presently in place annulled. The bill was sponsored by a consortium of groups including the ACLU, UN Commission on the family, Planned Parenthood, labor groups and the NEA.
In a prepared statement the executive committee of the NEA, speaking for the consortium said that irreparable harm is being done to single parent children. "It is just not fair for some to have two parents and we must level the playing field so that one parent children will have the same self respect and monetary benefits that double parent members enjoy.
FEMA has been instructed to provide mobile homes to the fathers who must move out of the two parent homes. Same sex couples were exempted from the provisions of the bill.
President Hillary R. Clinton favors the bill as does United Nations Secretary Bill Clinton who was the principle author.

Gore warns world of impending wetting

Breaking news from next month
Former VP Al (Chicken Little) Gore introduced his new book "An inconvenient Wetting" today on the Barbara Walters show. The book warns that if Americans do not quit watering their lawns causing global evaporation then the world will be underwater within a couple of centuries. He blamed the US population with their rabid concern for landscaping for the recent rains and floods.
Gore who invented water sprinklers said that he sees only impending doom for the United States. His book advocates the immediate release of all water penned behind dams and a moratorium on non essential water use in suburbia. Gore said he has not made up his mind on a bid for the 2008 nomination even tho the frontispiece of his book has campaign coupons for his exploratory committee. Barbara Walters nervously drank her glass of water and had little to say during the interview except an occasional "Oh my!". Ms Walters is the nations premier broadcaster and has won numerous awards from liberal controlled award givers.

Breaking news from 2008

Kennedy is pictured with Library Keynote speaker and former presidential hopeful Barraka Hussien Obama who is a candidate for the 2012 Democratic nomination after sucking hind tit (teat) on his 2008 bid.!
The Ted Kennedy library was opened today in Booze, Massachusetts. The library will be a repository of Senator Kennedy's writings and will also include a section on water safety. No public moneys will be expended in the construction of the library which is financed by a grant from the Hard Liqueur Promotions Association. The 27,000 square feet of glass in the structure will be built from recycled spirits bottles from Tipsey Ted's personal collection. The Chappaquiddick wing will host the water safety institute and the Drunk Drivers Hall of Fame.
Disclaimer...numerous misspellings and grammatical errors are a trademark literary technique of the blogmaster

Breaking News from 2009!

President Hilliary Clinton issues strong warning to Muslim terrorists!
Washington, DC United Depress
The President surrounded by her cabinet in the underground bunker at the White House issued a terse statement to the terrorists responsible for the nuclear bombs that destroyed LA, New York City, Boston, Atlanta, Denver, Chicago and Plains, Ga.
The President who was obviously upset at the situation said she demanded an immediate United Nations investigation into the bombings. She warned the terrorists any further hostile action on their part would be met with the strongest rhetoric.
While she ruled out immediate military retaliation against the launch points of the missiles in Iran and Saudi Arabia she assured them that military action was certainly on the table if they did not stop firing the missiles. She defended her action is shutting down the defensive anti missal umbrella protecting the United States mainland last month saying that it was an essential move in the interest of world peace. She condemned Israel for their overreaction to the bombing of Tel Aviv. President Clinton bemoaned the loss of the Holy Cities of Mecca and Medina and fourteen other population centers in the Arab middle east. We shall certainly ask for UN economic sanctions against the reckless actions of the government of Israel in firing nuclear missiles into sovereign nations. She asked the United States citizenry to refrain from retaliation against the 78 Muslim Military Compounds scattered around the country. She went on to say that a small minority of the Muslims population was peaceful and it was impossible to separate them from the 94% who hate America.

Alfalfa Bill Murray

Who knows ... what the future holds?
In Alfalfa Bill's time the full range of human rights that we all enjoy today had not yet come into being. Little did he realized that black people and all women would take their God given rights as equal to the White men.

Alfalfa Bill Murray was almost President of the United States. Roosevelt beat him out for the Democratic nomination. He was the single most prolific contributor to the Oklahoma constitution. I met him when I was 18. My dad and grand dad had known him all their life. In fact he was born in the same county in Texas where my dad was born...Montague. In Johnston county we called him Kuckleburr Bill and he named his son who later became governor of Oklahoma after Johnston county. His writings reveal a regrettable racism that was part of the commonality of his era. More than any other person he was really the father of Oklahoma.