President Obama announced today from the Crescent Office (formerly known before remodeling as the Oval Office) in the White House that all multinational corporations have been placed under the newly created Department of Fair Profit Administration by Executive Order #3456. All profits that exceed current inflation index will be transferred to the U. S. Treasury. Executive Order #3457 signed just today will require all military personnel to under sensitivity training before having their weapons reissued.
In a related story the government of Communist China revealed they have dispatched their Pacific fleet to protect the interests of Chinese citizens living in San Francisco, California and Plains, Georgia. They plan to administrate the protective umbrella for Chinese interests from the former prison island of Alcatraz which they purchased from the Obama administration last week for a partridge in a pear tree.
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